Life is really turning up right now. I don't know but, I feel good. Doesn't it seem like when you break up with someone, every girl in the world starts calling you? That happened to me today. How do they know? My relationship status on face book has said "single" for three weeks but we still talked but when we officially stop talking, they all hop down. It's scary.
Usually when that happens, she texts, telling me she wants to get back together. As soon as I decide I will give up and move on, she texts. Never called before other than that other day. And that was just a huge misunderstanding...lol. But as you know, she didn't listen to me and she pulled all the negative out of the situation. But that's her, my Babe. I don't think that's allowed anymore even though we agreed that in post-relationship times, we would still address each other as such but I don't know.
The other day I went out unexpectedly with my best friend and her brother. We had hella fun. I needed to get out that day too. I did something horrible and if I would've stayed in, it would probably gotten worse.
I really need some rest. I gotta go perform at the school tomorrow. I know, when I said I would never return, I gotta go back already. I really don't plan on returning. There's nothing in that school that I want to turn back to. My high school career sucked. I started becoming more outspoken towards my senior year and it was kinda too late. We had good times though. I don't really have anything to back to, now that that's over. I do have my best sophomore friend to see when I come back though but I can just hit her up and we could chill...lol. I'm sorry NHS, I may not be attending the alumni day.
I'm so ahead of my time right now.
I'm talking about Winter Break in college and I just graduated out of high school...lol.
I hope she doesn't think I won't miss her. I most definitely will, I just think it'll be better if we just stay away from each other because we may try it again and then she has to go through more agony. I don't want to cause her any more pain so, how do you do that? We stay away from each other. Friends? Of course. Just not like that. I'll rather not get too close again to her. I'm too much of a bad person for her to deal with.
I'm not being an a**hole, I'm being a realist.
And it's crazy because I've been thinking about her a lot lately. Maybe it's because we don't talk and since we don't talk, that opens a window for thoughts about her. I'm trying to keep the thoughts to a minimum 'cause then, I'll have to text or call her and she doesn't want that.
I will always love her. She may not believe that but I do. Maybe when/IF we do meet again, it'll be because it was meant to be forever. But that time is definitely not now. She's made it clear.
I'm a bad person.
So, to not cause her to be physically ill anymore, we part ways, maybe forever. Who knows?
But for now, I go out and do what I have to do for my family and me to be happy for the rest of our lives. I worry about the future when it reaches me.
Peacin' Izzout!
I'm Marty McFlying Out!!!
In Sidekick Mode!
P.S.
Why don't I talk directly to her anymore? Because I don't believe she still reads. She doesn't have to. She never did but it was sort of her job to stand by me in all the things I cherished and one of them was my blog. I mean of course she can just like it and like to read it but I doubt that anyone likes this blog...lol.
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